Monday, July 8, 2013

Breaking the mold, forming new perspectives


Being home for a month in the summertime sans summer job can be a boring thing. After waking up early to beat the heat for a long run in the woods, I usually find myself sitting at home, doing chores for my mom or on my computer. It’s day 6 of being home during the month of July, in between studying abroad and moving back into my house at school, and I’m already going crazy.

With every click on this computer, I wonder “there’s gotta be something far more exciting and meaningful than what I’m doing right now.” And I know there is. Every day that passes is a missed opportunity for great adventures, as I see it. Welp, there goes another one I guess.

It’s got me thinking. After just returning from a study abroad program in Estonia, I’ve been reflecting on it, and what exactly I got out of it. Sure, I saw a part of the world (including Estonia, Finland, and Russia) that hardly anyone ever gets to see in his or her lifetime. But I mean, what did I do over there that was really “life changing?”

The answer? I gained valuable experience in my area of study. Just another thing to put on my resume, perhaps. Yes, I’m very happy I went, and beyond grateful for the experience, don’t get me wrong. But did I change any lives? Did I really leave an impact? Did it really change my life all that much?

And the dreaded answer to this? Not really.

More thinking. So, this life that we (as 20 something year olds) are all living - the one where we attend school until age 18, then select a college or university to attend and pursue a 4 -year degree in our preferred area of study, only to find ourselves often struggling to find a career then eventually settling down and marrying, having kids and so on - is it really all we can do? Or is there more to this picture?

As much as I want to prepare myself for the “real world” during my time in college so I can get a good job and make my parents and myself happy, I still wonder if it’s truly right. All this career prepping makes students like me so susceptible to tunnel vision, and we often seem to lose sight of what this life is really about.

I want to make a difference. I want to do something in my life that is bigger than I can imagine. I want to have adventures. Adventures that I can tell my kids and grandkids about.

Right now, as a 20 year old student, I’ve got some big dreams. Biking across the country. Backpacking the entire Superior Hiking Trail. Backpacking (or biking) across Europe. Volunteering in an undeveloped country. This is only the start of my list, but it’s already piling up. In addition, I realize that each one of these things will take a tremendous amount of work and perhaps money to accomplish, which quite honestly, scares me.

(I may be starting to seem like the typical, naive, 20 something year old who is getting way ahead of herself here, but stay with me.)

Regardless, I want to work hard at getting these things crossed off, or at least planned. As much as I enjoy traveling recreationally as a tourist similar to the trip I just had in Eastern Europe, I feel as though my time and money can be spent in a better way when traveling at my age, especially since I enjoy seeing new places and experiencing new things so much. I’ve always had the traveling itch, so why not make the absolute most out of it while I can.

So instead of focusing so hard on building that resume so I can stand out to potential employers, why not go ahead and do some more adventuring and gain real life experience? Whether it’s getting lost in a new land or meeting some truly unforgettable people in this world, I’m craving it more than anything right now.

Sure, I’ve been watching YouTube videos, reading blogs and listening to inspiring music tonight, which is probably part of why all these things are suddenly occurring to me. It's happened before though, and I can’t let this feeling slip away from me again. I’ve really got to act on it, so here I am, typing away, so I can read this later and be reminded that I want this for my life.

One thing I’ve learned over the past 6 months is that it’s not all about the grades or the summer jobs or the internships. It’s about how you can relate to people, what kinds of experiences you’ve had, and how these experiences have shaped you as a person.

So that’s my goal. Slowing down, and not rushing into the 9 to 5 scheme while I still can. And yet being reasonable and somewhat practical about it, of course.

To end this random blurb about life, here’s some lyrics from the recent Ellie Goulding song, “Burn,” that left me with chills the first time I listened –we all have the fire, it’s whether or not we chose to really let it  burn:

When the lights turned down, they don't know what they heard
Strike the match, play it loud, giving love to the world
We'll be raising our hands, shining up to the sky
‘Cause we got the fire, fire, fire
And we gonna let it burn.



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